Steelday, the 25th of Warmstill, 3725

Many weeks have passed, slipping away into months. At first the days were becoming a blur of longing and busy work, until I finally broke; then my days became long and silent, lost in meditation upon the shores of the distant shores of Port Naythex.

In time, Norrath spoke to me again, like it did the night I met Brodis, the night so much changed so dramatically. Norrath taught me much, some of which is just beyond my fingertips, but now I know the truth...once I can accept it, the rest shall fall into place.

Norrath spoke to me of many things, not only about myself, but about others...about Phenix.

His ship had gone to Freeport, and while he was there, he was betrayed by our once ally Blight Viggtu. In then end, Phenix was given over to a tribe of gnolls that have suddenly resurfaced in Norrath...an ancient tribe from back before the Rending, from the Age of Turmoil.

I wished to go to him, destroy the gnolls and take him back, bring him home, but Norrath told me to do so would only endanger him further - assured me that in time he would be allowed to come back to me.

We did agree on one thing - that Viggtu must be punished for what he has done, removed from the face of Norrath so that his plague no longer taints her flesh. Regretfully, Viggtu saw through my illusions and summoned the guards of Freeport, and I had to withdrawl to Qeynos.

It has been many weeks since then, and I have still not heard from Phenix; Norrath remains silent as far as the son of Brodis is concerned, and I fear that he may be dead. Though I do not entirely accept my loss, I must continue, as I know that is what Phenix would want - for me to continue the work we had begun.

Fate has drawn me back to the Raven, and after several visits, she has put me into the most unique situation. Though I still long for my Stormryder, another has captured my attentions, perhaps because of how much he reminded me of Phenix initially. Now, I think, it is more than that as they are still so very different.

His name is Kacer, and unlike many individuals I meet, he was not in the slightest put off or frightened by my...awkward features. In fact, I believe he is quite enthralled by the manifestations of Norrath, as the first night we spent talking by the fire he was entirely fascinated by the absinthe-flames I conjure.

Each time I encounter him, I find myself blushing, unable to speak properly for all his attention. While I may have spent almost every day with Phenix, rarely if ever did he show me so much affection, no where near that which Kacer has given the few days I've known him.

The last time we spent curled up together upon our hearthside couch, he was very hesitant, as if something bothered him yet he tried to make me so comfortable, asking me about how I had been since we had last spoken. Eventually, he revealed to me that a strange girl had been about the Mythic, spouting prophesies and reading people's inner most thoughts.

Kacer said this girl spoke of a dead Phoenix that would rise to recapture his flame, that would break his hands for holding the elemental girl...that he could not kill Kacer because it was beyond him now, the beast that drove him to do such things long since banished from him.

His words terrified me, as so much became clear in those few moments, but it was nothing I could speak of in the Raven. Instead, I begged him to come to my Library, and he complied, meeting me in Qeynos to discuss what this wild prophet's words truly meant.

Previously, I had explained Phenix in the vaguest of terms, forcing myself to use the past tense whenever I spoke, as then I believed him dead and had to accept it.

I explained to him in the most simplistic of terms that Phenix had lived during the Age of Turmoil, that towards its end a being took him away from the world, though it was never truly clear if he died.

I explained that now I knew that Phenix had died then, his years spent as a being similar to his 'kidnapper', until the Shattering, when the being returned him to Norrath - when the being shaped the energies escaping Luclin into the form of a Phoenix so those who knew what to look for knew that he had been reborn.

But it is impossible for him to return a second time - he has to be dead, and the being who gave him another life is long gone, there is no one to bring him back. I said these things to Kacer, and we discussed again what this girl had told him, and it became clear she was touched by the hand of Vazaelle.

Our determination was that she was seeing the past, and the present, and confusing them into one prophecy due to her insanity. We assured each other that we were fine, that Kacer was in no danger...that Phenix could not return from the dead.

It was then that Kacer made it appearant to me that he had not slept hardly at all in the past week. Having already come to have an attraction to him, being trained as a healer at the Temple, I could not do anything but care for his self inflicted injury.

There wasn't any sort of spare bed in my Library, so I took him next door to Phenix's apartment - there was a guest alcove there, where I used to sleep until the night I met Brodis. I thought he could sleep there for the night, and I knew Phenix had the herbs I needed to heal him.

He had been using some sort of elixer to keep himself awake, and so I purged his body of all its toxins...such a simple spell to me now. Once I had finished the spell and was sure it was working, I made him a tea that would help put him to sleep and keep him asleep for some time while his body recovered.

When I came around the counter to watch him, to make sure he drank all of the tea, Kacer grasped my hand again, and I suddenly found myself unable to speak clearly. In a moment of silence, he leaned forward and gently kissed me...I'd never been kissed before...its so wonderful.

It made me dizzy, lightheaded and giddy. I wanted to just fall into his arms, but at the same time, I felt almost guilty.

Of course, he noticed how flustered I was when he pulled away, and I had to explain to him that I had never been kissed, that even though Phenix and I had been close he had never even tried to kiss me. Kacer's response only further flustered me, as he could not fathom how any would not kiss someone as 'exotic' as me.

I was so nervous, I had to retreat to the backroom...Phenix' bedroom. As i lay in his bed, I realised that perhaps it was too soon to have allowed another man into what had once been his home...but how long does one have to be afraid of upsetting the dead?